I am one of those people who actually make "resolutions" for the new year. I like the idea of new beginnings. I know that each and every day is a new beginning, but I especially enjoy that one year is over and a new one is beginning. I love (and fear) the mystery of a new year and the joys (and possibly griefs) it will bring with it.
This year I have quite a few "resolutions". I don't know that I will accomplish each one successfully, but there is something about putting them in writing that makes me at least think about them once in a while. If we don't set some types of goals for ourselves and reach for them, we will never go anywhere.
1. I resolve to be more aware of my health. (this is the easy way to say I should be watching what I eat, exercising, ending bad habits that contribute to poor health, etc.)
2. I resolve to be a better mom. (I'm not bad now, but there is always room for improvement)
3. I resolve to TRY to be more organized. (I can organize a party or activity...but if you look at my desk at school and the PILES of papers, books, etc on the floor surrounding my desk, you would never believe that I can even spell "organize")
4. I resolve to "not sweat the small stuff". (This one also covers a magnitude of issues. )
5. I resolve to love unconditionally.
6. I resolve to live daily in a way that people recognize Christ in me without my having to actually say so. (There's really something to be said when you tell someone you're a Christian and they look at you with a surprised look on their face. )
7. I resolve to be more positive. (I come from a long line of complainers, whiners and "the glass is half empty" kind of people. It's REALLY NOT hereditary!)
8. I resolve to not be broke a week before payday. (I resolved that as I looked at my EMPTY bank account and wallet this morning.)
9. I resolve to think about myself once in a while. (I have a tendency to take care of everyone around me, expecting the same in return...sometimes, you just have to think about yourself.)
10. I resolve to do something this year that I've never done before. (don't know what that will be, but can't wait to find out)
OK, there are a few dozen more goals that I would like to achieve, but I'll stop there.
Happy New Year!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Where Have I Been?
I am going to assume that all of my faithful readers (at least 3 of them) have completely given up on me and will not even be checking anymore to see if I EVER continue blogging again. I've been "gone" quite a while.
I need to get back to it. Blogging is cathartic in so many ways. So, here I am...two days left in the year...but still so much to do.
December was a CRAZY month! That's all I can truly say. We were supposed to move on Dec. 1, then December 8 and finally we actually DID move on December 15. Can you imagine what that did to my December schedule? Well, let me just say that my Christmas cards and annual Christmas letter are still sitting in a bag, the cards not even opened. I still plan on sending them out. I figure it will be a treat for those who thought the holidays were finally over.
My Christmas decorations are all up (and beautiful, if I say so myself)...but we still don't know where the box is with clean socks. I keep thinking I'm going to get to that "room" with all the boxes...but just keep walking past it. School break is almost over and I still have about 45 research papers to grade AND lesson plans to plan. Zack has spent most of the break with his Dad...wish I could say that went well...but it is Ex's purpose in life to make sure that everyone is just as miserable as he is. I know Zack is glad to be home right now.
Now that it's all over (except for the 'taking down of the decorations'), I realize that once again I got too caught up in all the trimmings of Christmas and didn't take enough time to think fully about the true purpose of the season. I have this wonderful son and wonderful friends and a new "old" house to live in...I am teaching full time for the first time in many years, etc. I have so much to be thankful for and to reflect on. Yet, I know that I have put God on the backburner once again.
I hope that all of you had a wonderful holiday and I wish the new year to bring you all of the joy and peace you can handle.
Merry Christmas!
I need to get back to it. Blogging is cathartic in so many ways. So, here I am...two days left in the year...but still so much to do.
December was a CRAZY month! That's all I can truly say. We were supposed to move on Dec. 1, then December 8 and finally we actually DID move on December 15. Can you imagine what that did to my December schedule? Well, let me just say that my Christmas cards and annual Christmas letter are still sitting in a bag, the cards not even opened. I still plan on sending them out. I figure it will be a treat for those who thought the holidays were finally over.
My Christmas decorations are all up (and beautiful, if I say so myself)...but we still don't know where the box is with clean socks. I keep thinking I'm going to get to that "room" with all the boxes...but just keep walking past it. School break is almost over and I still have about 45 research papers to grade AND lesson plans to plan. Zack has spent most of the break with his Dad...wish I could say that went well...but it is Ex's purpose in life to make sure that everyone is just as miserable as he is. I know Zack is glad to be home right now.
Now that it's all over (except for the 'taking down of the decorations'), I realize that once again I got too caught up in all the trimmings of Christmas and didn't take enough time to think fully about the true purpose of the season. I have this wonderful son and wonderful friends and a new "old" house to live in...I am teaching full time for the first time in many years, etc. I have so much to be thankful for and to reflect on. Yet, I know that I have put God on the backburner once again.
I hope that all of you had a wonderful holiday and I wish the new year to bring you all of the joy and peace you can handle.
Merry Christmas!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
The Turkey Has Landed
Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I enjoyed cooking and eating. This has been a busy weekend and still have a lot left to do before it is over.
I was planning on posting all the things I am thankful for this morning. (and there really are a lot of things)...but the "turkey" landed on us last night.
Ex and I have an "every other year" parenting plan for holidays. This is Ex's year. However, a couple of weeks ago he called and said that he had decided to go to Vegas over the holiday and Zack could stay home. He flew back into town yesterday. Anyway, Zack and I didn't think as we made our plans for the weekend that Ex would be having him at his house for the rest of the weekend. Zack has had basketball practice every day (except Thursday) and was planning on going again this morning. They have their first game on Tuesday. (For those of you who don't know, he made 1st string on the JV team.) Well, we couldn't have a completely nice weekend now, could we?
Ex called last night at about 10 pm. He set us up with a test and we didn't pass. He asked what Zack was doing today. I told him he had practice and then was going to come home and help me do some things and then had plans with friends tonight. WRONG ANSWER! Ex flipped out...said this was his weekend and it was "nice" that I made plans for Zack without even checking with him. The phone calls kept up until about 1:00 am. He was ranting and raving about the fact that Zack didn't even call him to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving. He doesn't take into account that HE gave up his time with Zack to go to Vegas. Anyway, long story short...not much sleep last night AND he showed up here at 7:30 am to pick Zack up and make sure that he DIDN'T get to go to practice this morning. Zack is now fearing that he won't get to play on Tuesday because he missed a practice.
This is the time I kick myself for ever bringing Zack out here to live. We came here so that he could have a relationship with his Dad. I was hoping Ex would be a better father than husband. Nope, as a matter of fact, he's a worse father than husband. I was an adult and though it took me awhile, I eventually realized that it was his problems and not really mine. I don't know if Zack is getting that yet. I know he's in pain and I feel responsible.
As he left this morning I hugged him and whispered in his ear, "don't let him win". Say a quick prayer for him this morning. I know he could use it.
I was planning on posting all the things I am thankful for this morning. (and there really are a lot of things)...but the "turkey" landed on us last night.
Ex and I have an "every other year" parenting plan for holidays. This is Ex's year. However, a couple of weeks ago he called and said that he had decided to go to Vegas over the holiday and Zack could stay home. He flew back into town yesterday. Anyway, Zack and I didn't think as we made our plans for the weekend that Ex would be having him at his house for the rest of the weekend. Zack has had basketball practice every day (except Thursday) and was planning on going again this morning. They have their first game on Tuesday. (For those of you who don't know, he made 1st string on the JV team.) Well, we couldn't have a completely nice weekend now, could we?
Ex called last night at about 10 pm. He set us up with a test and we didn't pass. He asked what Zack was doing today. I told him he had practice and then was going to come home and help me do some things and then had plans with friends tonight. WRONG ANSWER! Ex flipped out...said this was his weekend and it was "nice" that I made plans for Zack without even checking with him. The phone calls kept up until about 1:00 am. He was ranting and raving about the fact that Zack didn't even call him to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving. He doesn't take into account that HE gave up his time with Zack to go to Vegas. Anyway, long story short...not much sleep last night AND he showed up here at 7:30 am to pick Zack up and make sure that he DIDN'T get to go to practice this morning. Zack is now fearing that he won't get to play on Tuesday because he missed a practice.
This is the time I kick myself for ever bringing Zack out here to live. We came here so that he could have a relationship with his Dad. I was hoping Ex would be a better father than husband. Nope, as a matter of fact, he's a worse father than husband. I was an adult and though it took me awhile, I eventually realized that it was his problems and not really mine. I don't know if Zack is getting that yet. I know he's in pain and I feel responsible.
As he left this morning I hugged him and whispered in his ear, "don't let him win". Say a quick prayer for him this morning. I know he could use it.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Day beforeThanksgiving
5 days OFF! Gee, what will I do with all that time? Hmmmm, lesson plans? Yeah. Grading papers? Yeah. Packing and getting ready to move? Yeah. Cooking a small Thanksgiving dinner to go with the room-mates' prime rib? Yeah. Laundry? Yeah. Getting Zack back and forth to basketball practice? Yeah.
OK, well, I really do have 5 days off. I have a lot to do...but when I'm "off" I can do it when I want to. My goal is not to save 90% of it to do until Sunday afternoon and evening.
This morning I'm off to Goodwill, Value Village, and a couple other thrift stores...I don't think I'll find beds, but still need an entertainment center and a living room chair or love seat. I'm not ashamed to shop there...if someone were to ask my decorating style, I would say "early Grandma's attic". I like old things. They can't be dirty to too damaged...they have to have character. I get excited when I find something really cheap, yet with character and little need for repair. They built things better in the old days!
Later today I will post my "annual" Thanksgiving thanks list. *This will actually be the FIRST annual since I didn't have a blog last year....just wanted to set the anticipatory mood.
Gotta get going and get the shopping adventure underway!
OK, well, I really do have 5 days off. I have a lot to do...but when I'm "off" I can do it when I want to. My goal is not to save 90% of it to do until Sunday afternoon and evening.
This morning I'm off to Goodwill, Value Village, and a couple other thrift stores...I don't think I'll find beds, but still need an entertainment center and a living room chair or love seat. I'm not ashamed to shop there...if someone were to ask my decorating style, I would say "early Grandma's attic". I like old things. They can't be dirty to too damaged...they have to have character. I get excited when I find something really cheap, yet with character and little need for repair. They built things better in the old days!
Later today I will post my "annual" Thanksgiving thanks list. *This will actually be the FIRST annual since I didn't have a blog last year....just wanted to set the anticipatory mood.
Gotta get going and get the shopping adventure underway!
Monday, November 19, 2007
Turkey vs. Prime Rib
I love Thanksgiving. I love the whole process of cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I haven't been able to do that for a couple of years now. Guess it will be another year before I get the pleasure.
Room-mate doesn't have her kids this year. For 2 weeks she has been talking about her and boyfriend (who does have his son) going out to eat. I kept saying that since they weren't cooking here, I was going to be making a big, traditional Thanksgiving dinner (crazy me, I still like tradition) and instead of going out to eat, they should just have dinner with us. I've had the menu and the grocery list made up for a week, and was really looking forward to my day in the kitchen.
So, last night, right before they went to bed room-mate calls me. (Yeah, she was in her bedroom about 90 feet away and she called me.) They have decided they are going to have dinner here, but boyfriend wants prime rib. (FOR THANKSGIVING???) She said that if I want to cook a small turkey earlier in the day, they will allow time for that and that boyfriend will make the stuffing/dressing because he has a great recipe for cornbread dressing.
Well, turkey poop! It wasn't about cooking a turkey. We've had invitations to traditional dinners that we've turned down. I'm sure we could call up and re-invite ourselves, but I really need the day to get moving stuff done and just want to be able to spend the day at home working on things that I need to work on. So, I guess we'll be eating prime rib.
And again, God teaches me things through these little frustrations. I can't spend the week pouting and whining. I will get the things done that I need to get done and eat the prime rib and will cook a Thanksgiving dinner soon after we get moved into our own place. I have to accept that I can't control these things.
We don't always have control over situations, God wants us to let go of our control and give it back to Him. I've never considered myself a real controlling person, but I like things to go the way I plan them (guess that makes me a somewhat controlling person)...sometimes God has other plans. We want "turkey" and He wants to give us "prime rib".
Quit whining and enjoy the prime rib.
Room-mate doesn't have her kids this year. For 2 weeks she has been talking about her and boyfriend (who does have his son) going out to eat. I kept saying that since they weren't cooking here, I was going to be making a big, traditional Thanksgiving dinner (crazy me, I still like tradition) and instead of going out to eat, they should just have dinner with us. I've had the menu and the grocery list made up for a week, and was really looking forward to my day in the kitchen.
So, last night, right before they went to bed room-mate calls me. (Yeah, she was in her bedroom about 90 feet away and she called me.) They have decided they are going to have dinner here, but boyfriend wants prime rib. (FOR THANKSGIVING???) She said that if I want to cook a small turkey earlier in the day, they will allow time for that and that boyfriend will make the stuffing/dressing because he has a great recipe for cornbread dressing.
Well, turkey poop! It wasn't about cooking a turkey. We've had invitations to traditional dinners that we've turned down. I'm sure we could call up and re-invite ourselves, but I really need the day to get moving stuff done and just want to be able to spend the day at home working on things that I need to work on. So, I guess we'll be eating prime rib.
And again, God teaches me things through these little frustrations. I can't spend the week pouting and whining. I will get the things done that I need to get done and eat the prime rib and will cook a Thanksgiving dinner soon after we get moved into our own place. I have to accept that I can't control these things.
We don't always have control over situations, God wants us to let go of our control and give it back to Him. I've never considered myself a real controlling person, but I like things to go the way I plan them (guess that makes me a somewhat controlling person)...sometimes God has other plans. We want "turkey" and He wants to give us "prime rib".
Quit whining and enjoy the prime rib.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
I'm running out of catchy titles
Wow! Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK! How can that be? I promise, sometime between now and then I'll tell you all that I am thankful for.
We've had a rather interesting few days here at the homefront. I love being a mother...most of the time, but there's not a book out there with everything you need to know (besides the Bible, of course). After all the years I've worked with teenagers, I often look at my own and know that we all need help sometimes. Can't go into details, but the final outcome of this past weekend is that Zack no longer has computer or cell phone privileges. He is going through WITHDRAWAL. I also want to warn anyone who's kid is on Myspace...there are places they can hide what they are doing. I have had access to his Myspace since we allowed him to use it...but stuff was hidden somehow. His Dad (who always seems to expect the worst) put spyware on his computer and ...well, that's all I will say on the subject. (Except that I must add, I HATE when he's right.) But I went through a weekend of feeling like I'm not passing this course (parenthood) with flying colors. Opened up a lot of great conversation and a bit of pouting here and there...but that's to be expected. Discipline is never easy for any of us...the givers, the receivers, etc.
One day he will realize he was truly loved and protected...of course, I'll be 80 years old by then. (smile)
I reminded him that no matter what, I love him and God loves him. In reminding him of this I was reminded that no matter what...my ability to whine and complain about everything, my lack of discipline (eating, smoking, etc.), my lack of faith, etc....God still loves me too.
During all of that "stuff", room-mate's 10 year old and 8 year old had a birthday party sleepover. 8 little boys above my head most of the weekend. It wasn't too bad until the bat flew into the living room through the chimney. I was sleeping, but the blood curdling screams woke me up. (the screams came from room-mate's boyfriend). She chased the bat out of the front window with a broom while he held up a towel (mostly around his head) so that the bat wouldn't fly down the hall. (yeah, right) It was funny.
Moving day is coming quickly...YIKES!
We've had a rather interesting few days here at the homefront. I love being a mother...most of the time, but there's not a book out there with everything you need to know (besides the Bible, of course). After all the years I've worked with teenagers, I often look at my own and know that we all need help sometimes. Can't go into details, but the final outcome of this past weekend is that Zack no longer has computer or cell phone privileges. He is going through WITHDRAWAL. I also want to warn anyone who's kid is on Myspace...there are places they can hide what they are doing. I have had access to his Myspace since we allowed him to use it...but stuff was hidden somehow. His Dad (who always seems to expect the worst) put spyware on his computer and ...well, that's all I will say on the subject. (Except that I must add, I HATE when he's right.) But I went through a weekend of feeling like I'm not passing this course (parenthood) with flying colors. Opened up a lot of great conversation and a bit of pouting here and there...but that's to be expected. Discipline is never easy for any of us...the givers, the receivers, etc.
One day he will realize he was truly loved and protected...of course, I'll be 80 years old by then. (smile)
I reminded him that no matter what, I love him and God loves him. In reminding him of this I was reminded that no matter what...my ability to whine and complain about everything, my lack of discipline (eating, smoking, etc.), my lack of faith, etc....God still loves me too.
During all of that "stuff", room-mate's 10 year old and 8 year old had a birthday party sleepover. 8 little boys above my head most of the weekend. It wasn't too bad until the bat flew into the living room through the chimney. I was sleeping, but the blood curdling screams woke me up. (the screams came from room-mate's boyfriend). She chased the bat out of the front window with a broom while he held up a towel (mostly around his head) so that the bat wouldn't fly down the hall. (yeah, right) It was funny.
Moving day is coming quickly...YIKES!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
What's my combination?
Remember the dream about being "underclothed" and standing in the hall at high school trying to remember your combination? The more you turn the dial...the further away from the real combination you are. Your heart is pounding, your palms are sweating...the bell is about to ring and you are standing there in the hall in your birthday suit or granny underwear. Aaaugh!
This is the time of year I start getting that feeling... all the time. I guess it's the stress of the upcoming holidays. They are supposed to be a time of family and fun and love and instead they are a time of: no money, Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas cards--no one knows my address, no money, gifts, mailing gifts, no money, decorations, tree, holiday activities, no money....
So, add to that...moving in three weeks...and creating lesson plans, grading papers, doing laundry (how do 2 people use that many clothes?), figuring out meals, making lunches..I think you are getting my drift.
The good news, I don't need meditation or medication...just need to stay in prayer and keep things fresh with God. He'll get me through, help me find the JOY and keep those creative juices flowing. He'll help me remember the combination if I keep trusting Him.
Have a great day!
This is the time of year I start getting that feeling... all the time. I guess it's the stress of the upcoming holidays. They are supposed to be a time of family and fun and love and instead they are a time of: no money, Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas cards--no one knows my address, no money, gifts, mailing gifts, no money, decorations, tree, holiday activities, no money....
So, add to that...moving in three weeks...and creating lesson plans, grading papers, doing laundry (how do 2 people use that many clothes?), figuring out meals, making lunches..I think you are getting my drift.
The good news, I don't need meditation or medication...just need to stay in prayer and keep things fresh with God. He'll get me through, help me find the JOY and keep those creative juices flowing. He'll help me remember the combination if I keep trusting Him.
Have a great day!
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