Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

OK, I know, it's been a LONG while since I've posted. Lots has been going on. Let me take you through it as easily as possible.

9/27/08 Had a shoulder ache again, took some Aleve and tried to relax. Still achy, so I began rubbing and my wrist slipped over a rather large lump on my breast.

10/1 Saw the doctor about lump. He immediately referred me to Providence Breast Clinic. Did NOT say "probably nothing".

10/8 Had mammogram and ultra sound...now scheduled for biopsy. Lump is "highly suspicious".

It's amazing how many commercials run about breast cancer during Breast Cancer Awareness month. I still have a while before biopsy...hate not knowing, but praying it's nothing.

10/17-19 Church ladies retreat at Warm Beach. Great time of giggling, eating, playing games. I did tell the ladies about my biopsy. I haven't shared the information with many...don't want to until I know something definite.

10/19 Zack has decided today to move to his Dad's house. My heart is broken, but he has stopped listening to me. I feel out of control with him. He is leaving his current school and will be attending a public high school. I know God is fighting for him and I know that he is in God's hands.

10/20--Biopsy this morning. Won't know results until 10/22.

10/22--I have Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma. In English, stage 2 breast cancer. IDC happens to be the most common type of cancer and we have caught it early. I really don't feel much today. During the 1st ultrasound the realization came to me that I have cancer. I don't know why, I'm guessing God was preparing me. Along with the realization came the peace that only God can give. It's still surprising to hear it come out of the nurse practitioner. I had to have her repeat things several times. Still have other tests to see what treatment will be necessary.

10/28--MRI today. They want to see how deep the tumor is. They also want to make sure there is no other cancer anywhere else in my body. This will help the surgeons decide what steps to take next.

Now, more waiting. I will meet with surgeons next Tuesday (11/4). I really am feeling ok. Someone asked me the other day how I was and when I said fine, she replied, "You can't be fine all the time!" Truthfully, I AM FINE. I don't feel sick. I'm not scared. I miss Zack, but I know that God has everything planned and timed the way He wants it. Maybe I need this time to just take care of myself and not worry about a teenage boy who seems to be mad at me all the time.

What I need. People keep asking, "what do you need?" "what can I do?" Seriously, I will gladly accept prayers, hugs, laughs, etc. What I don't want...pity faces. You know the ones...the ones that are accompanied with "How are you?" in a drawn out, whiny way. I know those people mean well too and I know they love me and are at a loss for words...but I'm truly OK!

I will try to do better at blogging and keeping everyone up-to-date on my progress. I need the outlet...I have spent a lot of time talking to God and myself this last month.

Once again, I have to give God credit for having a sense of humor...breast cancer during breast cancer awareness month. Can't get much better than that.

Have a great week!