Gangsta thief boy

Every morning I spend some time reading from the Bible and then writing in my journal. I don't write anything profound (maybe after I'm dead someone will think so)...just have always been the type of person who needs to talk things out and journaling lets me talk to myself. Anyway, I'm getting off track. A couple of days ago I was noticing that when I'm in "need" I seem to write more. Well, I think my writing is about to increase again.

Room-mate and I found each other on Craigslist. We were both single moms looking for a way to live in a house rather than an apartment. She has 2 boys (7 and 10), while I have Zack (14). She moved to this particular street because this is the street where her boys live with their dad and his 3rd wife and her 2 boys (4 and 6). Her ex is similar to mine in that he is very controlling and likes to wreak havoc whenever possible. The big difference is mine doesn't work and hers is an attorney. I don't know the whole story, but when she left, she was working nights so gave him custody until she could get "on her feet". The plan when she moved to our street was to share them half and half.

OK, enter my very normal 14 year old son. I'm a mom. I think I'm pretty realistic about behavior both good and bad. I know my son has a little of both. (Some days a LOT of one or the other.) But, all in all, he's a very good kid. He rolls his eyes on cue and even gets disrespectful at times...but never to the point of utter defiance. Anyway...that's the set up, here's the situation.

Room-mate's ex has told her that there is "no way in hell" she will get her kids more than once a week and every other weekend as long as that "juvenile delinquent" lives in her home. Now let me back that up with what he's seen.

Strike #1 Q, the then 9 year old son of Roomie, was hanging out playing x-box with Zack and 2 of his teenaged buddies. Someone didn't use their common sense and change the conversation while Q was in the room. Sometime during the game, making out was discussed. I'm sure the teens didn't think a thing about what they were saying...However her X (I will refer to him as X for the purpose of this story) was not impressed when Q explained to X the difference between kissing and making out. (Seems making out involves hands). Zack doesn't even remember having that conversation with his friends...and even if he did, would he admit that to his mom? However, when X asked where he learned that, Q said "Zack".

Strike #2 Zack went down the street to a public bb court which happens to be right across the street from Q and C's house. The boys came out to play bb with Zack. That led to riding their bikes around the house and "jumping" over obstacles in the woody area behind the house. Q said they should move one of the jumpy things to the front yard, but it was too big for him to carry alone. So Zack helped him move it. When they were done jumping Q suggested it should be put in the garage so Zack helped him move it in there. X finds it in the garage and knows it is not from their property, confronts Q and Q says "Zack wanted to bring it in here". Turns out, it belongs to the backyard neighbor. In Zack's defense...there are no fences and he didn't know where the property line was. Anyway, after that incident, Zack was now a sex crazed thief.

Strike #3 Zack had a horrible year in school last year. I think he was trying to show his dad just how low he could go. The big thing was his grades and lack of even trying...plus as all of his teachers stated more than once...he's very social. (In other words, wouldn't shut up long enough to do any work.) Anyway, towards the end of the year, we had a parent/teacher conference and I had a copy of the written comments (written by the highly medicated guidance counselor). All of the teachers had something good to say..."Zack's a great kid", "Zack's got such a winning personality", etc...but all he cared to write down was..."Can't get Zack to stay in his seat" "Zack talks constantly" and my favorite..."Zack is interrupting the educational progress of others" (This from a teacher who NEVER sent him from the room, NEVER gave a detention and called me ONCE to tell me that he was 'frontal hugging' girls). Anyway, this sheet somehow got mixed in Q's school papers. X found the paper, sent it back AFTER making copies for his file, and told room-mate that he questioned her parenting abilities since she felt no fear of having this "evil influence" over her two sons.

She talked to Zack, told him that he had to be on his best...couldn't give X any more fuel for his fire. Turns out Strike #4 happened while we were in the midst of moving. Zack wanted to paint "graffiti" on his bedroom wall, so I bought some spray paint and he and Q were out in the front yard practicing graffiti on some big paper we had. Turns out at that time Zack showed Q how to paint gang signs. Now, I'm going to guess that Zack doesn't know any gang signs...and he has a cool way he writes his name...so probably in trying to be a "big all-knowing man" in front of Q, he made up some. Well, turns out Q went home and decided to teach his younger brothers all about gang signs...That's all she wrote.

Room-mate told me Sunday night (through her 2nd bottle of wine tears) that her purpose in moving here was to get her boys every other week and now X is saying that as long as we live here with her, he is considering cutting out all visitation. He can't believe that even after he warned her, she continues living with and allowing her sons to be influenced by this "sex crazed, gangsta thief". I don't know that that's exactly what was said...but it comes down to this...now that we finally got all of our boxes unpacked...we have to move as soon as we can.

I have to get to work...still more on this story...will finish up tomorrow