Did I say something about being a better mother?

That's the way it goes, you set a goal, and suddenly you face a challenge. My challenge is 14 years old and his name is Zack. Every once in a while, I look at him and think "where did he come from?". It's been a long time since I was 14. And when I was 14, I still feared "the hand". Not the "talk to the hand" hand...but the one that suddenly jumped out at my head if I DARED roll my eyes, talk back, or somehow LOOK like I had attitude. I live 3000 miles away from that "hand" and still shrink back from the phone if I feel like I say something that might sound a little disrespectful.

I tried to be different as a Mom. I love my Mom, but she had a lot of issues and many of them came out in her disciplining her children. I have obviously not instilled a lot of fear in Zack. I'm ok with that (most of the time).

He is becoming more independent...at least when it comes to me. That's a natural step at this age. I'm sure there are books written about it. I'm not the person he wants to spend his free time with. I knew that would come eventually. I knew there would come a time when he'd rather do anything else than hang out with his Mom. And I thought I was ready for it...but I'm now wondering if you are ever ready for it.

I still want to stay connected. I told him yesterday that we would be spending some quality time together from now on. We need to stay connected. His response? "Geez Mom, we drive together to school and home. I'm in your class. You see me all the time. " So, I have a feeling this "quality time" that I am planning with him will be under duress...but that's my job. I want to stay connected...and have to stay connected.

I wonder if God feels the same way with his "kids"? Spending time with Him daily sometimes becomes a chore, yet it's one that I have learned (finally) that I HAVE to do. And to maintain a better relationship with my son, as well as becoming a better mother...I first, have to become a better child. Hmmmmmm.

That's something to think about.