Triple Header

Ok, today you get 3 topics for the price of 1.

"Travesty"

Melinda Doolittle was voted off American Idol last night. She will NOT be in the finals next week. Makes me want to quit watching reality tv...yeah, right.

"Olympic Torch"

I had an Olympic Torch moment yesterday. We live in a house with a big yard. The lawn mower was provided by the landlord...but no trimmer. So, I threw away money a couple of weeks ago. First I went to a yard sale and bought a "bush whacker"...problem is, can't get the very dull blade off to put the string on and the very dull blade doesn't cut the very tall grass and weeds that is now surrounding our yard. So, I bought a much smaller version at Walmart. I know it said for small yards, but I guess I figured grass is grass...even if it is about 2 feet tall and very thick. While Zack mowed yesterday afternoon, I was trimming. Suddenly flames started shooting out of the end of the trimmer. What could I do but hold it over my head and take a lap around the yard?

"The Builder"

Ps. 127:1 "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain."
I got a call from North Sound yesterday. I have an interview with the interim principal next Tuesday at 3:00. "Father, help me to remember that YOU are the Builder and I am here to follow Your blueprints."

Heartbreak

In life, we learn to handle heartbreak. Last night I had to watch my son suffer a heartbreak.

Bottom of the 7th, his team leading 6-4...our 3rd pitcher had to be taken out so he could start in tonight's game. (something about pitch count rules). The coach called Zack to the mound. There were 2 on base, 1 out. The batter already had 2 balls, no strikes. Zack walked him, now bases loaded. The next batter came up, hit one out...Zack made a bad throw to catcher and they scored...still only one out, bases are still loaded and the score is 6-5. Next batter hit it hard and they scored at least 3 runs. Game over. Zack cried. He took the burden of the loss as his own.

I wanted to run out there to him and wrap him in my arms, but he's 13 and that would have only made it worse. I saw his face crumple and his shoulders fall. I saw the heartbreak written all over him. I wanted to carry it all for him...take the heartbreak upon myself. But, it's a life lesson for him, albeit a tough one.

On Mother's Day, Scott and Cole talked about our roles as mothers and how that role compares to God the Father...I thought about that last night. He has to sit back and let us stumble sometimes. He sees us go through heartbreak and defeat...and He's there to comfort us when we let Him. He helps us get back up and start again.

Zack plays again tonight. I'll be there to cheer him on.

Long Pause

Last week was just one of those weeks when I decided it was best to take a pause from writing a blog. I can tell you right now that there wouldn't have been a lot of positive thoughts coming from my keyboard. I try to maintain a positive outlook on every aspect of life. I try to keep my thoughts positive and happy. I believe that when I start thinking negatively, I am doubting God. But, I am human, and sometimes those thoughts creep in and overtake any positive thoughts I am even trying to have.

I don't want to say that I went through a week of doubting God totally, but I guess that's what it came down to. I was discouraged about the job situation. The principal who interviewed me is definitely gone. I have tried contacting the interim principal, but he has not responded to my e-mails. I was having financial struggles that just seemed overwhelming. Zack was grounded for the whole week, which made our relationship strained, at best. I got a haircut that I hate. See...you wouldn't have wanted to hear all that from me.

Have all those situations been rectified? Well, Zack isn't grounded anymore, we had a wonderful Mother's Day (thanks to someone at church who gave me money so that Zack and I could go out to a movie and lunch), pay day is tomorrow, nothing new on the job scene...but I am trusting God, my hair will grow out again...so no, not exactly rectified...but I just had to take a long pause. I had to sit with my thoughts and prayers and just "be still and know that He is God".

God understands me when I feel like that. He listens when I whine and complain and say "why me?" He is patient with me, even though He knows I should know better. Then in His little ways, He reminds me that He is in control. He has a plan and I have to learn to be more patient and wait on Him.

My reading today says it all: "This is the wonder of God's sovereignty. Working behind the scenes, He is moving and pushing and rearranging events and changing minds until He brings out of even the most carnal and secular of settings a decision that will set His perfect plan in place."

AMEN

Parenting

I yelled at Zack on the way to school this morning. As he got out of the car, there was no "I love you" or the usual kiss good-bye. I said a sarcastic "have a great day, Zack"... it was meant to bring about guilt and remorse. Now I'm the one feeling guilty and remorseful. Not that there wasn't an issue...and a valid one. But I handled it all wrong.

I feel like I handle a lot of issues wrong these days. I think that goes along with the territory of having a 13 year old. I know I won't handle each and every issue correctly, but I guess I didn't realize I would screw up so often. I feel like I don't have a lot of answers. Funny, because I have spent so much of my adult life working with kids and actually being very good at it. When it comes to my own, I am screwing up a lot more than not.

I love Zack. And I am really blowing it as a Christian parent. I'm not praying enough...with him, or for him. I'm going to tell him that this afternoon and he's going to roll his eyes...but I'm going to start praying with him consistently. And I'm going to start praying for him more than just when we get into rough spots. (I could write another blog on that topic...praying about things only when we hit rough spots.)

Thank You God for letting me be a parent. Thank You for giving me Zack. Please forgive me for not allowing You to be the center of the parenting process.

Friday

It's Friday...the sun is shining...it's supposed to be a beautiful weekend.

What more can I say?

Another "lesson"

I mentioned yesterday that I look for lessons in everyday events (must be the teacher in me). Well, last night Zack and I partook in a very "tasty" lesson. Baskin Robbins was celebrating an anniversary or birthday and scoops of ice cream were being sold for 31 cents each. We both LOVE ice cream, but don't usually get BR because it's cheaper to buy a half gallon of Dairy Gold at the grocery store than a two scooper at BR.

When we arrived at BR the line of people stretched out into the parking lot. Zack's first response was that he didn't want ice cream THAT BAD. I did. We stood in line for around 20 minutes.

The lesson? Jesus is so much better than Baskin Robbins ice cream. He came "that we might have life and have it more abundantly". He gives us eternal life and the chance for a peaceful, joyful existence. He gives us forgiveness and redemption. (and NO CALORIES) If people know that Jesus if FREE...why aren't they standing in line? What is it that I am not showing them?

The "Speck" in my eye

Call me crazy, but I really do try to get "lessons" from everyday things in my life. For the past two weeks I have had a weepy eye. I think it's allergies, as this is the 2nd or 3rd time I've had this problem. My left eye is red, swollen, itchy and constantly dripping from both corners. Everyone thinks I'm crying. I put makeup on in the morning and by 9:00, I have it only on 1 side of my face. My eye is sore from wiping it. It's very annoying. I want it to stop.

Last week I wrote about judging others...this has been a reminder that I have so much of my own "stuff" to take care of that I really have no time to make the effort to worry about the "stuff" of others.

This morning as I was writing in my journal, again, I was holding a hot towel over my eye to reduce the swelling. I began writing about being part of the "body of Christ". If one part of the body isn't working right, this affects the rest of the body. Seriously, this silly eye has had just such an affect. Last week I wasn't sick, but I just felt miserable most of the week, tired and rundown...I really think it was because of my eye. (It feels better when I am sleeping.) It has affected me emotionally also. I don't want to be around people...it's ugly. Without people, I lose my momentum and joy.

I'm working actively on both of those "lessons" and thanking God for the methods He sometimes uses little irritants to teach me important lessons.