Zack

I am not able to describe the love I feel for my son. If you have kids, I'm sure you understand. It's a love different than any other love you have ever felt. Right around the time Zack was born, I heard a song that came very close to explaining it. The first line of the chorus is: "that was a river, this is the ocean". Love I feel for other people is a river, the love I feel for Zack is an ocean.

I still feel that same love for him, yet some days I look at him and think "where did he come from"? He's becoming his own person and that's a good thing (I guess)...but there are times when I'm surprised because he's not more like me! I guess as a parent I expect him to be a "mini-me". I want him to like school and like getting good grades. I want him to be really involved in Youth Group at church. I want him to do things around the house without being told. I want him to love everyone and not feel prejudice or believe stereotypes. I want him to like hanging out with me and brag about how cool I am when he's with his friends. So, when he doesn't do these things I start going through the "mom-speak" in my head..."I work my butt off for him...he doesn't appreciate...does he know the sacrifices?...". I'm sure many of you know what I mean.

I wonder what God feels when we do things that He doesn't want us to do...or we go in a direction He really hadn't wanted us to go...or display an attitude that is really not the kind of attitude He has instilled in us...or when we don't hang out with Him or talk about how cool He is. I know I fail Him so often, yet His love is never ending. I want to be a "better child" to my Father and I want to be a more God-like Mom for Zack.

I also want Zack to pick up his dirty clothes without being told. Think it will happen?